My Cactus Mission

At work we have tiny cactus that is barely holding.  Everyone is convinced that it is dead, and keeps pulling it out of its pot so now the roots are in shreds.  I moved it to a sunny location a couple of weeks ago and was commenting on how good it is looking....And they insist it's dead.  Well dead doesn't look pink and green to me.  I was holding the pot and evil co-worker asked me to hand it to him.  He shook it upside down over the trash.  I shrieked.  So now the poor thing is traumatized.  I slammed the pot back down on the window sill and stomped off.  He eventually dug it out of the trash and brought it to my desk. I am determined to save this cactus! just to prove them wrong.  Even if I have to go out and buy another replacement.  So now it is resting comfortably on my window sill...and I got new soil and root stimulator powder at the store.  It gets three days in ICU and then I am re potting it. 

week 5

down 11.5 pounds of fat for a total of 14 total pounds lost.  Dropped 2 sizes now.  Thankfully a friend who also recently dropped weight, shared some clothes with me, so now I don't have to walk around wearing super baggy pants. Still want to drop 21-28 pounds.  Also on an odd note, all my shoes are looser.  I didn't even think I had fat feet.

skipped the beach today....the burning swamp smoke is drifting this way and didn't really feel like sitting in it.  Although tomorrow we are taking Andi and friend to the zoo. 

Great News (for me)

Today, Andi and I went to the beach for a couple of hours.  And my fat girl swimsuit, that I was bursting out of last month was baggy on me.  And the white shorts that I haven't worn for two years were too big.

I fell of the exercise wagon and haven't got back on.
I ate too many tostidos today so I finally gave in and had a hard boiled egg trying to get my hunger to shut up.  Thought the protein would help.

Viewpoint on Parenting

Parenting, I must admit, has never been a joy for me.  I hate every second of it.  My kids are a joy and I love (somewhat bitter sweetly) watching them grow up and have a really good time with them.  But the motherhood gig is so so stressful. Half the time I think my kids got ripped off because they didn't get one of those giggly cuddly mothers with their head screwed on straight.  Most of the time I don't know if I should let them do what they ask to do, so I just automatically say no.  I don't feel I have exposed them to enough culture, or events and I feel my time to do that has expired.  Teenagers just don't want to hang out with family ever.  At least mine don't.  And that makes me sad.  I know they are struggling to become independent of me, but the narcissistic rudeness that comes out of them hurts. I keep telling myself that teens act the way they do so by the time its time for them to get out on their own parents are ready for them to go.  Finding ways to connect is a constant struggle and some days I feel like no matter what I say or do will get a growl in response.  I guess what is so stressful is that I feel like they are slipping away from me...I want them to have their own lives, but I still want to be a part of it.

On the weight loss front.  I am down 10.5 pounds in 4 weeks.  The doctor literally high fived me.  That was weird.  Since I didn't exercise one bit last week the 3.5 weight loss was ironic, but will probably reflect next week on the scale. I did tell her my leg was bothering me and showed her....the same spot I showed my primary doc a month ago and he said was a underdeveloped muscle.  Turns out it is a varicose vein and has burst all the capillaries shooting off of it (spider veins).  So next week at my annual physical I'm gonna bring it up again with the primary (actually his PA) and try to get a referral to a vein specialist since it's causing pain now.  The weight loss doc mentioned today that compression hose might be in my near future....yuck!

WL Update

I weighed in with 4 pounds less of fat and 1 pound down on water.  Pretty good.  I am on my third week now and my appetite should be resetting soon.  I went ahead and got a B12 shot and it only is helping a little bit with energy not as much as I would like.  I was hoping for a super charged surge of energy.

Day ?

I lost track of what day it is in my WL journey...but I am in my second week.  The doc was right, it was easier to do while on vacation.  I thought it was pretty hard to do while visiting my parents, but waking up on Sat morning and being home all day was way harder.  All I want to do is snack.  I did cheat and has some  goldfish crackers with my tomato soup.  The tomato is gross!  It has green flecks of some leafy thing floating in in.   According to my scale I am down 6 pounds...on Weds I will find out exactly how much of that is fat and how much is water.  Hoping for 2 pounds of fat loss a week. I am so hungry that its getting hard...I may have to get the injections after all.  I hate needles so opted not to do that at my last visit.  I could choose between a B12 shot or a Lipo-B shot.  The lipo-b has more vitamins, amino acids, and minerals in it.  I can't figure out if  I am tired from traveling, pms or the diet.  I had to really push myself to do 30 minutes of cardio today. So much for my 600 calorie daily burn goal.

Day 2

I actually feel pretty good.  This isn't going to be so bad after all.  I even was able to get Andi Chick-Fil-A and not die while smelling the food in the car.  LOL

So far the soup has been the best.  I thought it would be the absolute worst.  Last night I had creamy chicken and tonight I am having Tomato.

And I still had the energy to do 60minutes on the treadmill this morning.  My goal is to burn 600 cal a day with aerobics.  When I get back from vaca I will add weight training.  My wrist is still healing from the car accident and I can't do it yet.  I tried and it hurt like hell.  P90X or Insanity is out for at least another 6 weeks.