Day One of Weight Loss Journey

So about two weeks ago I went in for a consultation at the The Center for Medical Weight Loss.  Here is my starting point.  59.5 pounds of fat. Yikes. 37 pounds of that fat is on my torso.  Yuck!  I knew it so I wasn't too surprised, but it really sucked having the doc point out the actual numbers to me.  Then when I finally got the nerve to sign up, the doctor was on vacation so I had to wait another week....so now three weeks from when I decided to do something about it I finally am starting today.  In my body composition analysis my calorie count to maintain my current weight is 1495, that's not a whole lot---I tried to eat just that until I started.  And here's the problem that has plagued me since forever.  I have tremendous willpower all day and can stick to that calorie count, but then I blow it and I blow it big---like 3000 calories over with binge eating for two days after having it controlled for 5 days.  Thus the 37 pounds of fat.   The plan I choose to do with CMWL is the 800 calorie plan for 6 weeks and then decide if I want to switch to the 1200 cal or remain on the 800 cal.  That puts me to lose about 13 pounds in 6 weeks....I hope it's more.  I went with that because since my calories are at 1495 if I did 1200 it would take me 10 days to lose a pound....3 pounds in a month would be very discouraging.  So how do I do 800 and not become malnourished.   4 shakes a day and 1 bar or soup.  Sounds extreme.  It is.  But I suspect I have a mild compulsive overeating disorder so going completely off food for awhile actually sounds less hard than trying to limit food.  In the meantime, depending on how much withdraw I have (since food has become my coping tool) I may seek out an Overeaters Anonymous meeting.

Day One:  First Shake.  I choose to start with the Strawberry Shake since I thought it would taste the nastiest.  I wasn't bad at all.  I made it with very cold water.  and tried to make is last.  It was kind of more bland than I expected.  I thought it would have that awful fake strawberry flavor.  Can't wait to try the Chocolate one in three hours.
Second Shake: Vanilla.  Pretty good.  I put it in the freezer for awhile so it was good and chilled.  and tried to make drinking it last and hour.
Third Shake:  Chocolate.  I saved the chocolate one for my biggest munchie time of the day  3:00.  And it is a total disappointment.  Not very chocolaty at all.  I think I'm going to freeze my bedtime shake into a pudding pop.
So here I am at three with a killer headache.  I've drank about 80 ounces of water so I don't think I'm dehydrated.  But I am very tired.

Cole is official

May 20 marked Cole's first day as a licensed driver!  And I totaled the car we were planning on letting him use in the fall.  

May 20 - Auto Accident

Thanks everyone, for the kind comments left about Jake leaving.  I'm still sad about it, but not as devastated as I thought I would be.  I just wish he wasn't so far away.  I am resiting the urge to call, text, email and facebook  him a million times a day.  His 19th birthday was on Mother's day this year.  So my day was ok, not spectacular. I just wanted to get it over with.  He texted, but didn't call.

Jake has left the Nest

Jake moved out on Sat. He told us about 2 weeks ago of his plan, but I was in denial. Ara and I have tried very hard to be open and receptive to our children as they grow up, but in spite of that Jake held his cards very close. I know he is resourceful and will probably be fine, but I still can't help but think that he is making things much harder than they need to be. I was totally surprised that he called when he was halfway to Ohio. He sounded so chipper and excited and I didn't/don't want to rain on his parade with all my tears. So I think I got all the tears out (maybe not) and I'm already putting a care package together. So far I have razors and laundry sheets packed--need to get some goodies and then send it off.

Oh yeah he's in Dayton Ohio with a job lined up at Crown Plaza, training is supposed to start tomorrow and work starts next week. He drove the whole way by himself, following his girlfriend and her mom and step dad. He said his butt really hurt; I wanted to say my heart hurt, but I just kept quiet.

Not Seeing It, Not Feeling It

I will be so glad when all this yard sale stuff is out of my living room. Jake, my ever-loving trash picker, keeps dragging stuff out of the piles and up to his room. I am letting go of some of the old kids toys. Face it, they're teens and keeping the toys isn't changing that. Still hanging on to the legos and kinex. All the Easter eggs are bagged and tagged, and there is three sacks of stuffed animals. As of today Jake's taxes are done. He printed them, signed them and (hopefully) mailed them. For some reason that was stressing me a lot. Over spring break I dyed Andi's hair a dark brown. She been begging to color her hair for a long time, and I have been stubborn. A friend used some of her moms leftover dye and it was a horrible reddish color. I hated it. This dark brown looks much better with her skin color. She was actually sent to the nurse by a teacher because she looked so pale with the other color. Still trying to do P90X. Not seeing the results like in all the youtube videos, but still working hard at it. I convinced Ara to buy some 25lb weights so I can use the 10 and 15 that he's hogging. I know he can do heavier weight than 15lb! We're on week 10 and counting this as our first round, since we gave up last time due to the flu. 3 weeks to go to end the phase and then on to the second round, and that's where I'm hoping to see results. And it would probable help if I recorded my weight and reps so I can push myself harder. I love the Plyometrics (jump training). The weather is perfect for running/walking but the pollen is killer right no. I had the window open for a few hours and woke up with a raging sinus headache. We ran out of Zyrtec yesterday. Back up meds are Benedryll and no one wants to take that. Book club is this friday, and I'm not feeling the book at all. American Rust. Only read the first chapter and it has a Of Mice and Men feel to it. Yuck.

Wouldn't you know, as soon as I proclaim I am working from home on Tues and Thurs I had to work in the office on Thurs. Grrr. And since my meeting ran late, I asked Ara to be home in time to take Cole to driver's ed. Turned out I got to Williamsburg in time, but since I already had Ara tasked out with the dirty chore of taking Cole, I stopped at JCPenny's on my way home. I have their credit card and it was customer appreciation day (extra 20% off when you used your card). I browsed the clearance racks and scored two bras and a Nike sweatshirt---my grand total was $25.47. Ara wants to participate in the community yard sale this year. It's on the 16th...so I have begun the gathering of items to put in. I am not thrilled about this---I'd rather just donate or freecycle everything, but Ara is insisting. It's always so much work. I cleared out the hall linen closet today. Found some sheets and curtains to put in. Turns out I cleared a whole 2 shelves---so I moved the stockpile of toiletries I've been keeping in my closet to that closet. Still grocery gaming so I have lots of toothpaste, shave cream, and deodorant. I did a quick run through on the kitchen and only came up with a souvenir can opener that at co-worker got me from Hawaii. And the rest of the downstairs is pretty bare...I'm know were going to have to dig through the attic to get more stuff. I am not looking forward to that at all. Spring Break for my high schoolers is this week. Today was the first day off. No alarms before sun-up was awesome. And Jake even agreed to drive Andi to her friends. Shocker...that was the first time he's ever volunteered to do that. We have no big plans, other than the above mentioned get read for yard sale activity. Day One: Friday Jake took his friends to Busch Gardens, Cole is fishing the James with his friends, and Andi is hanging out at her friends.